The toddler stage can be tough as it is. Toddlers have big emotions, little control, and have a tough time knowing how to deal with both. Therefore, tantrums are a common toddler reaction to their lack of communication and coping skills. Frustration quickly gives way to anger.
Many toddlers grow out of this over time, but it can help to know what to do at the moment.
1. What are some common symptoms of anger?
- Throwing
- Kicking
- Biting
- Hitting
- Screaming
- Throwing themselves around
- Shoving
- Pulling
- Stomping
- Crying
2. When should I be concerned?
If their tantrums last for lengthy amounts of time, they are injuring themselves or others, or if the outbursts seem to be happening all day, consult your doctor.
3. What triggers them?
It can be helpful to know what triggers your toddler’s anger in order to help them. Here are some things that may trigger them:
- Not understanding what they are feeling
- Not being able to communicate how they are feeling
- Being overly hungry
- Being overly tired
- Not getting their way
- Lack of control over daily activities
- Playing with a hard-to-understand toy
4. How can I help during a tantrum?
- Be the calm in the storm
- Do not react with anger or frustration
- Resist the urge to discipline the child, this will only escalate and increase the angry behavior
- Get down on your child’s level to talk to them
- Make eye contact with them
- Explain to them what they are feeling
- Explain to them why their behavior is not okay (may hurt themselves or others)
- Empathize with them, show them you understand
- Distract them with another toy or book
- If they are still upset, feel free to tell them you will give them some space and be over here when they need you
- Ask them if they’d like a hug
- Let them know their feelings are normal and it’s okay to feel them
- Let them know you still love them
5. How can I prevent a tantrum?
Tantrums may not always be preventable as the toddler is learning about their emotions and how to manage them. However, there are several things we can do to be proactive:
- Keep a daily routine
- If something doesn’t go as they want, try to show them how to be positive
- Teach them about their emotions
- Show them coping strategies (breathing for example)
- Show them positive reinforcement when they do something good
- Create a safe, understanding environment for them to express themselves
- Control your emotions and be an example of what you want them to be like
- Don’t expect a happy child all the time, they are humans just like us
If you are struggling with your child’s tantrums, seek help from other parents, your pediatrician, or a health professional.
We are all in this together. Learn how we can help.