Does anxiety keep you from being the parent you want to be? Do you know your triggers but aren’t sure when an anxiety attack is going to happen? Do you think of the worst possible scenarios when your kid gets a little cold?
This anxiety may last a matter of minutes or hours. Perhaps it is constantly there under the surface for weeks.
You don’t want to feel this way. You don’t want your anxiety affecting your children.
And jumping straight to taking medications doesn’t interest you right now.
How do you parent your child with your anxiety?
Take Care of You First
This may sound tough when your child is your whole world. However, if you are not in a great place then you can’t expect yourself to be your greatest self for your child. By taking care of yourself, you are making sure that you are the best you for your child and also acting as a good role model. Hence, by taking care of yourself you are also taking care of your child.How do you care for your anxiety?
Talk it Out
Talk to your partner and your friends more often about what you are feeling. Even talking more about every day issues can help you to catch yourself before your anxiety and worry kicks in.Talk to Other Parents
Talk to other parents more about how you’re feeling. This is especially important for fathers who may not talk about their feelings often. Share your worries and anxieties, you’ll see many people are feeling the same way you do. They may even give you great tips on how they manage it.Choose a Mantra
When you are feeling an anxiety attack coming on, say out loud, “I am feeling anxious. I need to sit down for a minute”. This let’s your children, your husband, and yourself know what is happening. You may think that you it would be a better idea to hide the face that your anxious from your child. However, your kid senses your anxiety. Without labeling it and facing it, you aren’t showing your child how to cope if they were in that same situation. Not knowing what it is, they may start to wonder. So put a label on the feeling. Show them how you take a minute and cope with it.Meditate
Meditation is a great tool to train yourself to experience unproductive worries differently. You start to recognize these worries as just thoughts and not realities. For example, your child may have a cold and your mind could race to extremes. You may think this cold may turn into the flu or maybe it’s a tumor or maybe… Meditation helps you to hear these thoughts, know they are not realistic, and let them go. For the harder-to-control worries, meditation can help us to have perspective. An incident that once may have ruined our day, now is viewed as an inconvenience that we overcome and move on from.Exercise
It has been said a million times because it is true. Exercise is a great way to release endorphins, clear your head, and get you feeling renewed. When you take care of your body, you are also taking care of your mind. Some great exercises for combating anxiety are running, hiking, and yoga.Know When to Tap Out
If there is a situation that causes you stress, you could plan ahead to be absent from that activity here and there. For example, if bedtime is a specific time that creates anxiety for you, have your spouse take care of the routine.
Help Your Child Persevere
You may be worried that your anxiety is going to negatively affect your child. Or you may worry that your child may pick up anxieties of their own. The truth is that you can combat both. You just have to teach and be a good example of persevering in the face of fear and worry. Your child learns behavior from watching you, so you want to be a good example.Reward Bravery
Every time your child stands up to their fear, reward them. This can be an actual reward or points leading up to a reward.Talk About Your Anxiety
Talk to your child about your worries and fears. If you have an irrational fear, you can talk that out with them and how you came to the conclusion that it’s very unlikely to happen. Explain to them how you came to this worry and the steps you are doing to manage it. Try to maintain a calm demeanor, even when you are currently working through an anxiety. You can even ask for your child’s support when you face a fear. This turns your anxiety into a learning and bonding experience with your child. It also shows them how to respond to their anxieties in a constructive way.Teach them Stress Management
Teach your child to care for themselves in the face of their worries. This can be in the form of breathing exercises, mantras, meditation, and exercise. Parenting, especially for first time parents, can be filled with anxiety and worry. However, we do not have to let this negatively affect our parenting or our child. If you find that these tips aren’t enough to cope with your anxiety, consult a therapist. A therapist can help you to get to the root of your anxiety and give you tools to help your specific anxieties. Don’t wait, get help today.Struggling to parent with anxiety?