Divorce is tough. You know this, I know this. With that come a lot of feelings, many of which we don’t know what to do with. It is easy to indulge in our feelings. However, depending on how we indulge can determine whether we enter our new life successfully or not so successfully.
Here we have listed the top 5 things not to do after getting divorced.
1. Act Out of Spite
One of the thoughts that may be running through you head is how to make your ex feel as bad as you do. This may mean making life harder for them or taking your anger out on them. Decisions made out of anger are hardly ones we are proud of the next day or months down the line. Even though it may feel good in the moment to get back at your ex, you know you are better than that.
2. Make your kids take sides.
This is not fair to anyone and is a big parenting mistake. It can be extremely detrimental to the children in the long run and can strain your relationship with them. This process is hard on both you and your ex, but is extremely hard on your children.
Your job as a parent in this situation is to make this as easy for your children as possible. This means making sure that they feel loved and secure, despite all the changes happening around them. It also means that you and your ex are still a united front for your child.
3. Overshare socially.
While you should share you feelings and concerns with loved ones, you don’t need to share them with the whole world. Be wise when letting others on social media into your life in that way. Once the information is out there, there is no getting it back.
4. Refuse to feel.
Don’t ignore your emotions or refuse to talk about them. Just because you are sad and grieving does not mean that they win or that you are weak. It simply means that you’re human. A chapter in your life has ended and feeling sad, regardless of how you feel about your ex, is natural.
The more you let your feelings in, accept them, and work through them the healthier you’ll be.
5. Jump back into dating.
It may be tempting to just get back out there, but give yourself time. Allow yourself time to grieve, heal, and get to know yourself again. It may have been a while since you have been single so take advantage of it.
Take your time to reorder your life and get comfortable with yourself again.
Need help after divorce? We are here for you.