We have all come across one person or another that struggles with entitlement. They feel that they are entitled to whatever it is they want. They think they deserve it all now. This can mean difficult relationships, a myriad of disappointments, and a lack of contentment. For some, this entitlement refers to things. However, no amount of material things can take the place of a warm and loving hug when you are feeling down in the dumps.
Unfortunately, many people believe that if they get what the things they want, they will be happy. However, the truth is that no matter what it is that you get your hands on, the happiness you may get from it is brief.
When you are dealing with someone who has entitlement issues, it can make your life a constant struggle. No matter what you do or say, entitled people will never be happy. Nothing will ever be enough.
Some forms of entitlement may cause people to stop at nothing to get what they want. Others believe it should just be handed to them. And many, many people suffer from the genuine problems that come about as a result of it. Of course, they’d never admit this mess is all their own doing. They don’t see their entitlement as a problem to be fixed.
Read below to recognize some common characteristics of entitled adults.
Sense of Superiority
Entitlement is the expression of the ego. The leading indicator of entitlement is an unwillingness to unravel the false ego-self to live authentically. In fact, they live in fantasies of unrealistic success, power, appearance, or even ideal love.
The truth is they are very insecure and have a hard time accepting their failures or the things they perceive to be less than perfect. They will always try to impress others and try to make themselves look like a superstar and act superior to those around them. So, they believe their views are inherently superior to others. What they truly value is attention.
Emotionally Abusive
They don’t give you a chance to take part in a two-way conversation. You struggle to have your views and feelings heard. When you do get a word in, your comments are likely to be corrected or dismissed. They are often quick to judge. Entitled adults criticize and ridicule you, even in public. To communicate with them is to express an opinion and have it dismissed continually.
Entitled adults just can’t relax because they always need to be in charge of everything, including you.
This is where emotional abuse kicks in. This person starts to pull apart your thoughts and challenge your view of reality. Entitled adults believe they are intellectually superior.
Poor Boundaries
These types of adults enjoy getting away with violating rules and social norms. They love to be the exception to the rule. They repeatedly break promises and obligations. These people ignore your thoughts, feelings, possessions, and physical space. Little remorse is shown, and blame is often put on others.
They have no respect for your boundaries, either. Any time you say no or set up a limit, it’s just a challenge to them. They are usually very stubborn and hate being told what to do.
Admiration and Validation
Entitled adults often expect preferential treatment from others. Thus, they expect you to cater to their needs without being considerate in return. In their mind, the world revolves around them.
They believe that they are special and unique. So much so that they can only be understood by or associated with other special or high-status people like them. If you are not on the same level, you are not that special. End of story.
They often become envious of other people’s successes and accomplishments. Also, they believe that others are jealous of them. They typically feel entitled to something better and think they’re not getting the recognition they deserve from others. Thus, they seek excitement and drama to give them access to adoration and notoriety. They get upset and condescending when you do not share the same feeling. This tells you that you are not as important or as good as them.
Manipulators
They use other people to meet their unreasonable self-serving needs or cover up self-perceived inadequacies. They even make decisions for others to suit their own needs.
Another way entitled adults to manipulate is through guilt. They hijack your emotions. Entitled adults might bring up one thing they’ve done for you and blame you for not being appreciative enough. They will often call you crazy and slowly start to convince you that you are.
They are known for what’s called gas-lighting. This refers to a form of abuse that creates anxiety and confusion. It breaks down the trust you have in yourself and your ability to discern what is right for you.
Charismatic and Seductive
When they’re interested in you for their own gratification, they make you feel very special and wanted. However, once they lose interest in you, they will drop you without a second thought.
Many entitled individuals enjoy provoking negative emotions to gain control, feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance. They might throw a tantrum if you disagree with their views or fail to meet their expectations. They become argumentative and typically respond with fight or flight.
Broken Relationships
You will notice that once you stop feeding their ego, start getting real, and call them out on their bad behaviors, they will quickly abandon you and jump ship. That’s because an entitled adult won’t put the feelings of the partner above their own.
Furthermore, there’s also the undeniable self-esteem boost when a stranger finds them attractive. That explains why they often come with a severe pattern of broken relationships, usually involving infidelity. Faithfulness is a tricky thing for them because they just would not pass up the affirmation of another person’s approval.
Lack of Vulnerability
Their false bravado image prevents any good self-reflection from occurring. A lot of feelings and realities must be suppressed to maintain their idea that they are perfect. Thus, entitled individuals do not accept emotions like vulnerability, empathy, or compassion outwardly. They tend to cover these vulnerable feelings with rage, blame, manipulation, and disdain for others.
Deep inside, they know that something is not quite right. Yet, sadly entitled adults cannot fully understand their emotions or empathize with other people’s feelings. Instead, they hold them in contempt and ridicule. They cannot show their true feelings because it would shatter their ego and their entire identity.
The reason that feelings of anger and rage are so typically expressed by them is that they externalize in the very moment the far more painful anxiety or shame related emotions are hiding just beneath them. This is especially true when others bring their deepest insecurities too close to the surface.
Someone you know struggling with entitlement?