No one enjoys feeling jealous. Yet, jealousy is an inevitable emotion that every one of us will experience. The problem with jealousy isn’t that it comes up from time to time, but what it does to us when we don’t get a hold on it. It can be frightening to experience what happens when we allow jealousy to overpower us. That is why it is important to understand where our jealous feelings come from. It is crucial to find the root of our jealousy in order to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. Read more below to learn some ways of dealing with feelings of jealousy.
Causes of Jealousy
It doesn’t help to pretend like your feelings don’t exist. You need to confront your jealousy fearlessly. So, acknowledge your envy and try to figure out where it stems from. Is it a direct representation of your lack of self-confidence? Does this person have something you desperately want and have been working toward?
Once you get to the root of your jealousy, you can then work on absolving it. That might mean confronting your self-consciousness or learning to trust your partner. Sometimes, we tend to project our feelings of insecurity in the form of jealousy. Many times, when people are not successful in getting what they want in life, they tend to become jealous when others get what they always wanted. Dig deeper into the reasons for your jealousy. It is not healthy to be jealous in different situations and with different people all the time. Look within yourself and ask yourself the triggers of your jealousy.
No One has a Perfect Life
Do you think that others besides you have a fairy tale life and a happy ending? It is very important to realize that nobody has it all. Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition. There will always appear to be people who have it better than you. But remember, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions we make about others. Remember, nobody has it all. Each person you meet experiences problems, trials, and weaknesses, just like you. This is what makes us human.
Nobody is perfect. None of us have it all. Some people may have financial problems, an unsuccessful in marriage, or are dealing with an illness. Each individual has their own unique story. Therefore, it would be silly to look at people on social media and come to a conclusion that their life is perfect. Studies show that many people who lack confidence post the most pictures on social media to boost their confidence. Hence, do not believe what you see.
Love Yourself
If you don’t fully accept and love yourself as you are, you could be more prone to comparing yourself to others. This can lead to lower confidence and self-esteem. Self-worth comes with self-appreciation and love. People who are truly comfortable and secure with themselves rarely let jealousy get in the way. Look within, spend time with yourself, and get to know the real you. Choose to focus on yourself, instead of the person you are jealous of. Use your understanding of yourself to change your perception. Know that you have everything you need to be whole, happy, and complete right inside of you. Know that if you feel something is missing that you can have it, you can achieve it.
Stop Comparing Yourself
To prevent any jealous rages in the future, stop comparing yourself to others. Social media is one of the places where we start comparing ourselves to others. When we log into Facebook or Instagram and see someone post a recent picture, you start looking at yourself. You start to tell yourself, “I wish I looked like him or her.” It is very important to challenge those thoughts and ask yourself, “What is unique about me? What are my strengths?” Just remember that comparison is the seed and jealousy is the fruit,. Comparison leads to jealousy. Our mind is so caught up in comparison that it misses the actual quality of what it sees. We need to drop the comparing attitude to be able to see things as they are. Start by appreciating the differences.
Focus on Yourself
You know how much time you could spend improving your life if you stopped obsessing over other people? The answer is a whole lot of time. Stop wasting time on others and use it more wisely. Compliment yourself and love yourself instead. Any time you find yourself feeling jealous of someone, say something nice about yourself. Think of something you love like how kind you are to others or how quickly you can do a crossword puzzle. Say it aloud. You could even write it down, if you prefer. It is very beneficial to practice self-love. Look at yourself in the mirror and look at all the great qualities you have.
Celebrate Others’ Success
Genuinely and practically, rejoice in the fortune of others. When somebody receives something that you desire, be happy for them. If you wanted it, they probably did too. Stop viewing life as a race or a competition. Joy is not a finite resource. And the moment you learn to experience happiness in others’ joy is the day you take a huge step to overcoming envy once and for all.
Let’s say that you have a best friend who got accepted to a Doctorate program, but you did not. It is natural to feel sad. However, it is not healthy to feel jealous. Therefore, when your friend does get accepted for the Doctorate program, you should genuinely set aside the jealousy feelings and celebrate with your friends with 100% genuine happiness. Choosing to be happy, even if it is for another person, can help us to be more positive. Positive for them and positive in our own outlook of our life.
Struggling with jealousy?