Whatever the situation may be, each of us deals with negative thoughts from time to time. This may because of a new change in our life or perhaps not enough change. Developing skills and habits to deal with these negative thoughts are the keys to overcoming them. Read below for some helpful tips to overcome your negative thoughts.
Stop Them
When you notice that negative thoughts or images are starting to enter your mind, try actually say “stop!” to yourself. If you’re alone, you can try saying this out loud. It can also be very effective when just said in your head. If you prefer, you can use language that’s stronger than “stop”, such as “Get out of my head!” or even something a bit more colorful. For people who aren’t as moved by words, images can be more powerful. The classic example is a bright red stop sign that you picture in your mind’s eye when intrusive thoughts begin to appear. There are also some more direct approaches to thought stopping. For example, you can try the old tactic of splashing your face with water or just change the direction of your thinking. Some people like to count backward from 100 to 1.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations can be used in a couple of different ways. First, they might be deployed in the same way as thought stopping techniques. In other words, you might say an affirmation as soon as you feel a negative thought coming your way. For example, if you’re working to find a new partner and catch yourself thinking that you don’t deserve love, you can say “I am a valuable, lovable person and I will find a great relationship.” Secondly, say your affirmations on a daily basis to reshape your thinking. Using these affirmations on a daily basis makes them a powerful tool even when you’re already in a good mood. Design your affirmations carefully and try making eye contact with yourself in the mirror when you recite them.
Find the Triggers
Find the triggers of your negative thoughts. Knowing exactly why we have negative thoughts is hard to pinpoint, but there are several hypotheses about why this happens. According to some researchers, negative thoughts are a byproduct of evolution in which we are constantly scanning our environment for clues about danger or looking for places of improvement or things to fix. Sometimes negative thoughts are brought on by anxiety or worry, in which you are thinking about all that could go wrong or could be dangerous, humiliating, or anxiety-provoking.
Additionally, negative thinking or pessimism can be learned from your parents or family when you were young. Negative thinking is also associated with depression. It is thought that negative thinking progresses depression and depression spurs on negative thinking in a cyclical fashion. Lastly, negative thinking can stem from past traumas or experiences that cause you to feel shame and doubt. Think about any troubling conditions or situations that might be related to why you feel badly about yourself. For many people, typical triggers may include work meetings, school presentations, interpersonal problems at work or home, and significant life changes, such as leaving home, changing jobs, or separating from a partner.
Enforce Boundaries
If you’ve lived with negative thinking for a very long time, you might think it’s unrealistic to just suddenly expect yourself to change your approach. In this situation, even affirmations and thought stopping techniques may seem to merely delay negative thinking for a later date. If this sounds familiar, you might want to spend a couple of weeks enforcing boundaries when it comes to negative thinking.
The idea here is that you choose a fixed, limited period for allowing your mind to entertain negative thoughts and that you commit to only forcibly stopping them at a certain time of the week. When you’re reassured that you will have time to consider these thoughts, you may find they seem less powerful and have less potential to dominate your mind. Furthermore, many people find that they can’t even think of anything when they come to their scheduled time to allow contemplation of negative thoughts and that this actually helps them to break their pattern.
Write and Destroy
If your negative thoughts are linked to a specific strong emotion like fear, anger, or jealousy, try letting them all out in writing. Use a pen and paper to really express all of that pent-up negativity. You can then choose a way of destroying this paper. This symbolizes your commitment to moving on. For example, you could tear it up, crush it into a ball, burn it, or scribble over it. Those who aren’t as keen on using words to express themselves can find that artistic endeavors can have a similar impact. For example, you could sculpt a representation of your negativity, or paint it, and then destroy it or change its shape. The point of this technique is just to get some kind of physical representation of your negativity so that you can banish it in some satisfying symbolic way.
Note it Down
Note when you are negative toward yourself. Negative thoughts can be about others, but frequently, they’re about us. Negative beliefs about ourselves can manifest in negative self-evaluations. These self-evaluations can look like “should” statements, such as “I should be better at this.” They can also look like negative labeling, such as “I’m a loser” or “I’m pathetic.” Negative generalizations are also common, such as “I’m always ruining everything.” These thoughts suggest that you have internalized negative beliefs about yourself and accept them as fact.
Journal
When you write them down, try to give yourself a little space between yourself and the thought. Write down “I had the thought that I was a loser,” rather than just repeat “I’m a loser.” This will help you come to realize that these thoughts aren’t facts.
Thoughts are not Facts
Remind yourself that thoughts are merely thoughts. Those negative thoughts you encounter are not facts. They are the product of negative core beliefs that you’ve adopted over the course of your life. Reminding yourself that your thoughts don’t define you will help you distance yourself from unhelpful negative thinking. For example, instead of saying “I’m stupid,” say, “I’m having the thought that I’m stupid.” Instead of saying, “I’m going to flunk the exam” say “I’m thinking I’m going to fail this test.” The difference is subtle but important in re-training your consciousness and eradicating negative thinking.
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