Having a baby drains you out physically, emotionally, and mentally. Your entire idea of self-care becomes changed all at once. Although your main focus is your baby at this crucial time, part of being able to care for your child is caring for yourself. It is very important to be well enough to tackle the challenges raising a kid comes with. One line most of us are familiar with comes to mind, “Put your oxygen mask on before assisting anyone next to you”. This notion of self- care takes a back seat to the day-to-day tasks and chores that fall solely on your shoulders. When we don’t tend to our own needs, but consistently prioritize other’s, we create a breeding ground for anxiety, depression, anger, and resentment.
Prioritizing healthy, regular self-care is necessary for you to live a more joyful life and it is also an important skill to model for your children. If you can’t take the time to prioritize and take care of yourself, how can you teach this skill to them? Re-defining what self-care looks like to better fit your life style is key to actually engaging in it. Below are some ideas and tips of how to make self-care work for you!
Choose Sleep
When you have kids, there will always be toys scattered around the floor and a mess everywhere. Sometimes, we choose cleaning over sleeping. When your children are asleep, you should go to sleep as well. It would be a better choice to have a restful sleep and wake up in the mornings to clean the mess. If you are like the gazillions of moms we know, you may be prioritizing chores and household maintenance over getting eight hours of nightly sleep. By depriving yourself of sleep, you could be putting yourself at risk for depression, obesity, and heart disease. Give yourself permission to live with occasional messes in order to get a full night sleep. Always take every opportune moment to sleep.
Eat Healthy
Moms who are looking after babies and toddlers, it’s a little hypocritical how we emphasize the need for them to eat veggies, get plenty of liquids, and choose healthy food groups as much as possible when we don’t hold ourselves to the same standards. When you’re low on time and just need a snack, you reach for whatever is close, even cookies! Don’t give in to the constant sugar intake and always take time out for healthy eating. Just as eating healthy is key when you’re a mom needing to nourish yourself, simply finishing your meals is equally important. Because when we’re so occupied with handling the day-to-day worries, we often push aside that plate and skimp on meals. You should always eat your meal properly and have your partner help you while you are eating. Sometimes, parents can take turn eating, so that both parents are able to eat their complete meal.
Mediate
Taking time alone during the day to just breathe and reflect is good for everyone. It is even more so for a mom that’s been busy handling the chaos of kids all day. Because an overwhelmed mom is most certainly in need of an outlet for the stress. So whether it’s 5, 10, or 15 minutes, make the time to be still during your hectic day.
Unplug. Light a candle. Focus on a mantra or positive affirmation to get you through. It will make a world of a difference. Mediation will help you relieve your levels of stress and help you to start a fresh day. It would be great to go to sleep early and then wake up to start your day with meditation. Mediation is a great way to energize yourself for the long day ahead with your children.
Go Out
Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you live in a bubble with kids at home. The world revolves around your kids so it’s easy to feel like that’s all there is to life. But just as you do everything you can do raise healthy and happy kids, taking time for yourself is equally as important. Go out to get fresh air, rediscover yourself, or reconnect with mom friends. Sometimes, it feels great to call your friends and schedule an outing. During the time that you decide to go out, you can have your husband take care of the children. Now, if you want to go out with your husband, you can hire a babysitter or tell a family member to do you favor for couple of hours. By breathing some fresh air and having a social life, you are focusing on yourself and recharging your drained battery from the exhaustion.
Focus on Your Hobbies
It’s easy to lose yourself in the daily routines of family life. Days, weeks, and months can easily go by before you realize that you haven’t spent any time pursuing your hobbies or things you really enjoy outside of your family and work. It is very important to schedule and set aside time for doing things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with your kids! Of course, spending time with your family can be really enjoyable, but it’s important to have things you love that are just for you too. You should spend your time doing activities that you enjoy. Some examples are going to yoga classes, blogging, reading books, going for long walks, etc. Spending time doing things that help to fill your own cup up will only make you a better.
Ask for Help
We often put the expectation on ourselves that if we don’t get X,Y and Z done independently or without assistance, then we are not good moms. There tends to be a lot of shame around asking for assistance from friends or family so we avoid it. This leads to packed schedules, a feeling of being stretched too thin, and harsh self judgement. A good form of self- care is asking for help.
There is nothing wrong in asking another parent to give your kiddo a ride to soccer practice or home from school. Reaching out to a close friend or family member to come over and watch the kids one night. Help and support is an absolute necessity for self-care and decreased stress and there is zero shame in asking for it. Chances are, friends and family will be more than willing to help you help yourself.
Feeling overwhelmed with motherhood? Need a break to vent or get some clarity on how you are feeling? At Gateway 2 Counseling we are here for you. Sometimes taking a moment of your day to talk to someone can really help us to gain perspective and help us feel a little less alone. We are here for you!
Motherhood have you overwhelmed?