When we think of it, we all are guilty of “bad parenting” at one time or other. We have been hooked onto our phones or social media or somewhere else while we should have been paying attention to our kids. Sleep deprivation and the demanding 24/7 job of taking care of a baby can leave most of us exhausted beyond reasons. It is making it hard to focus on the kids. We all make mistakes every now and then. While there is no such things as “perfect parenting”, there are signs that read out loud that something is not right in the way we are raising our kids.
Parenting is a skill which must be practiced diligently. It is one of the most challenging jobs in the world to raise a problem-free child who is a proper balance of morals, values, and discipline. Each child is different and so is each parent. The idea of rearing a child differs from parent to parent. It ultimately come downs on the parents on how they raise their kids to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these traits of bad parenting have a lifelong irreversible impact on children. Watch out for the signs below and avoid them in order to support your parenting. Trust your kids, spend time with them, exchange experiences, and shower your love on them. Make a move today as they will be grown up quickly in no time!
No Rules
Are you too carefree as a parent? Do you give your kids the power to decide everything? In such cases, kids become their own masters. They may go to bed late, get up late, and do absolutely everything at their will. Owing to hectic lifestyles and both parents working, no one does the work of disciplining the kids as life is already chaotic. If this is how your kids live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit other family and friends. They simply wouldn’t know how to behave appropriately. Discipline is the only way your kids grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do some real hard work to raise kids who know how to behave properly. There will be times when kids will test the parents by breaking rules. Hence, parents need to establish and clearly communicate the consequences of breaking those rules.
Raising your Hands
If you scream or hit your kids, your kids will be afraid of you, detest you, and start disliking you. Kids subject to physical punishment may develop psychological problems during adolescence and even turn aggressive.
No matter what your instincts say, there is no study that states that there is any positive effect of hitting your kids. You need to handle kids sensitively. Spanking the child as a form of discipline is not the way. Instead, talk out the issue reasonably with your child in order to enforce a more positive outcome. Screaming, hitting, or any other form of verbal or physical violence will simply pave the way for more trouble down the line.
Not Giving your Time
Guilty of being glued to your phone’s screen when your child is demanding you play with her? Are you too distracted to listen to your child tell you about his day? Stop! Your kids don’t just need food or money from you. They want to speak to you, share their experiences with you, and sometimes need to hear your comforting words. Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts. The deal should be to be the parents kids want to hug and spend time with, not the ones who are like ATM machines. Kids may inadvertently perform odd behavior to attract parent’s attentions. At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.
Over Protection
Being protective of your child is a natural trait, but you should be aware of the limits. Young babies will love the way you laugh and acknowledge their mischief. However, as they grow up this can be viewed as restrictive and interfering to their mature growth. They may think that you will always cover up their mistakes and protect them even when they are wrong. They will eventually take this for granted and develop arrogant attitude. Overprotective parents have good intentions. However, though they mean well some parents go a little too far. In turn, they often do not realize little they are hampering and inhibiting their child’s growth and development.
Modeling Inappropriate Behavior
Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. The way you speak and behave are all being soaked up by your kids. If you often display negative behavior then your kids will model that behavior, believing it is okay to act that way. Children look to their parents to understand and know how to conduct themselves. It is obvious that parents are a child’s first role model. Hence, parents should be as good models to their kids as they can.
Partiality
It is easy to spot a child being favored over others. If a child is scolded more than others then the child will seen themselves as different, as less, and inevitably feel hurt. This creates feelings of resentment and injustice towards you. This will later appear in the form of badmouthing by your kids as they grow up. They will simply lose their trust and respect towards you. In addition, comparing your child to others will also affect him negatively. It may simply make your kid unable to take on challenges of life for fear of not measuring up to others. You should never compare your child to another child. This may affect their self-worth and cause psychological problems in the future.
Insulting Kids
Labeling kids with negative terms and using these words in public can significantly hurt a child and lower his self-esteem. Likewise, if you criticize your kid’s efforts or look down upon him by comparing with others achievements, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment. Never insult your child, even if you are mad. This will lead to psychological issues such as low self-esteem and social anxiety. Always make your child feel special and if you have issues with your child, you should always talk to them as a friend and a parent.
Fulfilling Every Wish
Every parent wants the best for their child, and some can practically afford almost everything their child desires. Do you reach into your pocket the moment your child sets his eyes on a new toy or a new dress? Hold on! Buying everything your kid lays their finger on is a sign of bad parenting. Kids who are treated to their every whim grow up not understanding the value of money. They will demand anything from you anytime, expecting you to present it to them. Even after they grow up, these kids can have trouble financially. Sometimes, this need may provoke them to steal, lie, or become rude.
Interfering Too Much
Do you jump in at the very first sign that your child is in a conflict? Do you follow your child like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to resolve every tiff your child gets into, you are interrupting with his social development. They will grow up being overly dependent on you and fail to develop skills necessary to survive in the competitive world. Allow your kids to handle things on their own. They are capable of doing so. They will learn from their challenges. It is good to give them healthy space in their lives. Do not baby them with everything, as this will affect their level of confidence to do things on their own.
Lack of Trust
It is not uncommon for others to complaint about a child. If you believe in others’ complaints more than your kid, you are passing the signal that your child is what others’ claim. If you turn deaf ears to your child’s explanations and pleas, your child can develop insecurities and may rebel. This will result in hiding things from you and they will eventually even stop explaining themselves. It would be helpful to calmly sit down with your child and find the cause of their lying. However, sometimes there will be situations where your child may be lying about their misbehavior. It is very intelligent to not scold them right away. Instead
Having trouble finding your own parenting balance? Parenting is tough. You don’t have to figure it out on your own. At Gateway 2 Counseling we are here to help you with any of life’s issues. Feel free to give us a call today!
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